Tag Archives: Relationships

Listen to Karin and I on The Gardener’s Lodge podcast: pollinators, gardening and relationships

Back in the summer, Karin and I were interviewed, one after the other, by garden designer and podcaster Mykal Hoare for his The Gardener’s Lodge podcast. Both interviews have now been released, covering rather different aspects of gardening and our relationship with the natural world.

My interview, published on 17 September, was a wide-ranging conversation about pollinators, their relationships with flowering plants, and the role that gardens can play in supporting biodiversity. We discussed everything from bees and butterflies to birds, the effects of climate change and this summer’s unusually hot, dry weather, and the perennial question of whether gardeners should favour native or non-native plants. We also talked about why providing flowers is only part of the story when it comes to conserving pollinators.

Karin’s interview, published on 1 October, approached gardening from a very different perspective. Drawing on her experience as a relationship therapist and author, she and Mykal explored how gardens and gardening can contribute to mental wellbeing, mindfulness and stronger relationships. In particular, they discussed how gardening together can reveal differences between couples, provide opportunities for communication and compromise, and strengthen our connections with nature. Apparently, our own sometimes contrasting ideas about how tidy or wild a garden should be provided some useful examples!

There’s quite a bit of common ground between the two conversations, particularly around the importance of observing and appreciating the wildlife that shares our gardens.

Some readers may remember that Karin has spoken about gardening and relationships on a podcast before, so this is an interesting continuation of that discussion.

Many thanks to Mykal for inviting us both onto the podcast and for two very enjoyable conversations!

Can gardening bring couples together? Listen to this podcast and find out!

Over the years, gardening has featured heavily on this blog and some of the observations that I made in the garden that Karin and I developed in Northampton appeared in my book Pollinators & Pollination: Nature and Society. At the same time that I was writing this, Karin was writing her first book – The Essential Companion to Talking Therapy – and we often discussed the links between nature, gardening, mental health and relationships between couples.

Fast forward a couple of years to last August. While we were in Kenya teaching on the Tropical Biology Association Field Course, Karin was interviewed by BBC Gardeners’ World presenter Adam Frost for his podcast series about gardening and health. In the interview Karin and Adam chat about how gardens and gardening together can positively affect relationships in couples. The interview has just been released and despite the fact that at the time Karin was recovering from COVID I think that she did very well! Here’s the link to the podcast: https://www.gardenersworld.com/podcast/adam-frosts-gardening-for-health-building-relationships/

Karin has also posted some thoughts about this, in her own inimitable way, on her blog at Medium.

The significance of the photo that accompanies this post is that it’s Karin sitting in front of the tent that we shared in Kenya, enjoying some watermelon, which was just about all she could manage to eat when she had COVID!

Ménage à trois mutualism

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Relationships involving a “household of three” hold a fascination that is part prurient and part wonderment: prurient for perhaps obvious reasons, and wonderment as it’s sometimes hard enough to make a ménage à deux work! Historically this domestic arrangement has been the lifestyle of choice of a surprisingly large and diverse set of influential thinkers and creative individuals, including Aldous Huxley, Lord Nelson, Carl Jung, Erwin Schrödinger, and Hattie Jacques.  Indeed, one of my favourite musicians, David Crosby, wrote a song about such relationships (Triad) which got him kicked out of The Byrds.

In nature, ménage à trois are occasionally encountered and may be more common than we think, and have been on my mind because this week I’ve been talking about mutualistic relationships with my first year undergraduates.  Mutualisms are interactions between species in which both benefit, as opposed to exploitative relationships such as predation or parasitism in which one of the partners is at a disadvantage (being eaten is a great disadvantage….)  Mutualistic interactions are common and important, and include many (but not all) plant-pollinator interactions, seed dispersal by birds and other animals, mycorrhizal relationships between plants and fungi, and many more.  As well as studying plant-pollinator interactions, I’ve a long-standing interest in the full breadth of these examples of “biological barter“, in all their varied forms.

In most cases mutualistic relationships involve pairs of species (for example a plant and a pollinator) although these species pairs are embedded within a larger network of interactions: that plant may have many pollinators, and those pollinators may service other plants.  In this sense it requires just two partners to make the interaction work – a “household of two”.  More rarely, research on the biodiversity of species interactions throws up examples of “households” involving three species, and a fascinating case has recently been worked out and published by Jonathan Pauli and colleagues.  This involves three-toed sloths and their relationship with the algae and moths that colonise the sloth’s fur – you can read the abstract here.  In summary, the algae benefit from nutrients provided by the moths living in the fur; the sloths eat the algae to supplement a restricted diet of leaves; the moths benefit from the sloths transporting them to defecation sites where they lay their eggs, then recolonise the sloths.  This slothy ménage à trois is a wonderful instance of interdependency within nature.

The other case of a three-part mutualism with which I’m familiar is that between anemonefish, and sea anemones and the algae which are housed in their tentacles.  The fish and the anemones provide mutual defence of one another, whilst the algae photosynthesise and provide carbohydrates to the anemone, and benefit from the nitrogenous waste produced by the fish.  It’s a system that I’ve done a little work on with marine biologist colleagues, specifically the broad scale biogeography of the interaction and its local assemblage structure, but we’ve not studied the whole three-part system. 

What other three-part examples are there in nature?  I’d be very interested to hear about any of which you’re aware.

It begs a question as to whether three is an upper limit to the number of species that can engage in such relationships?  Are there any four- or five-part mutualisms?  Or are these too unstable over evolutionary time, because if one species goes extinct it could cause the extinction of other species?  Interesting questions about fascinating interactions!